I’ve recently read a book called Weight Loss for People who Feel Too Much and there’s a part in it that made me think about our actions and the way we talk to others.
In the book one of the recommendations is to live life more simply by cutting back on the amount of negativity we subject ourselves to. By that I mean reading less gossip magazines, cutting down (or out) of social media, less news article and trying to reduce the amount of negative conversations we have.
I can do most of that and apart from too much social media. I spend a lot of time on public transport including trains and it’s an easy way to pass the time. Even though I have a kindle to read I often flick between that and social media more than I need to. So in that I need to cut down.
It’s the negative conversations that struck me though. How often do we spend time chatting with our friends and it’s all about how bad our day was, what traumas we overcame that day and what gossip we had found out. How often do we ring or text our friends and say ‘Do you know I’ve had a lovely day, some good chats with work colleagues and the bus was on time to get me home…’ or whatever happens. I think we are often far too quick to moan and not celebrate the good things.
I don’t think myself and my friends do it enough. I think we can do better. Although it’s not all doom and gloom. Myself and my best friend are having a detox week – her with caffeine and me with fizzy diet drinks. We’ve been texting daily with how well that’s going and how we are overcoming cravings or planning for any self sabotage. There’s been lots of encouragement and ideas flowing over how we can move forward with the next stage in what we both need to do in a dietary for our positive mental health (less caffeine and sugar). Now those are positive conversations.
You can’t ban all negativity though. Sometimes you have bad days and need to vent to your friends or significant other. Not talking creates even more negative mental health and as my depression came from this I would always advocate talking. It’s finding the right balance between talking about issues and becoming an energy vampire. Do you make a rule to only discuss issues at a certain time or never during the evening meal? I’m going to chat this over with my friends and see what rules we can come up with for our group.
But I am definitely going to work on my balance and concentrate on not overwhelming people with negative thoughts.
Over the last five years I’ve done a lot of work de-cluttering my home. I have over time thrown out several wardrobes full of clothes I bought during my emotional spending wilderness years as well as a bin bag full of shoes and who knows how many books. A lot went on ebay and the rest to charity shops. Along with my mum I also spent a couple of years selling unwanted goods at car boot sales.
However reading this book there is still a lot I found I can do. In the introductory section of the book Marie tells us before tidying and decluttering you must imagine the life you want as that is how the end result of this cleaning should reflect. After my initial breakdown in 2010 I spent a lot of time looking into what I wanted and how to achieve that and as a result I have plans for career, have worked on my friendships and relationships. This year I took steps to battle my financial debt.
A few months ago I stopped dieting and wrote a blog about how after 20 years I’m actually still the same weight so I wanted to look at just eating healthily. I think this is where for a while I lost my identity. No longer the woman who diets really badly I stopped thinking about me and what I want as a person. So using Marie’s method of visualising my thoughts were about how I want to be a strong, confident woman who would be reflected in lovely well fitted clothes and shoes. While comfortable in size and shape I need to be comfortable with the full package.
So that’s what I had in mind when starting to tidy what’s left after the last few years of de-cluttering. While reading the book I could often think of things that could go straight away. I have a wardrobe still with lots of clothes that hopefully I would eventually fit in. I do wonder if that’s a way I am holding my life back. Clothes for a person I am not and may not be. And even if I did slim down would I actually want to wear these clothes? Kondo suggests you take each item of clothing, feel them and ask yourself if you love it or need it. And I think the answer for those is probably no. I believe what’s best for me is to find some well-fitting, nice clothes for the person and size I am now and if I ever do slim down then I get to treat myself to something smaller.
I tried to tidy my shoes. I have a collection of killer heels in fabulous colours. I took them all out and laid them on the bed, decided that no way would I get rid of all of them, gave several of them a hug (!) and then put them all back. I don’t want to get rid of my shoes. I want a life where I get to wear my lovely shoes so that is something I’ve been working on setting up over the last few days.
The funny thing is I’m still only halfway through reading the book and all these fantastic ideas and thoughts are flooding in. Apart from looking at the shoes I haven’t even got to the actual tidying yet. A truly remarkable book.
I’ve always had an interest in the esoteric, the spiritual, ghosts and ghoulies. My mum and gran used to tell me tales of an old aunt that was a spiritualist and I grew up (and still live) besides a cemetery. But until recently I rarely used crystals.
Then one day at a workshop on manifestation (vision boards not more ghosts but that’s for another blog) our trainers mentioned a course in crystal therapy. I decided to go along. If nothing else it would be fun. I left thinking where had they been all my life!
Crystals come from the earth, from rock formations. They all have unique identities and energies. Part of the first workshop involved either handling them or sitting in circles of a certain type of crystal. And you can feel the difference! You can feel the love sitting in a circle of rose quartz. When surrounded by flourite I felt a lovely soft but invigorating breeze and I can’t go anywhere near orange calcite without getting the giggles.
I gave my son a blue lace agate crystal. He had been suffering from depression after a string of problems. He’s autistic so has always had communication problems as well. On top of that he’s a typical dour Yorkshireman. I asked him to have this crystal to help him. He rolled his eyes and told me to stick it on a shelf (his typical response). Several days later I noticed it move from the shelf to his bedside. Then one day he called me and told me he’d broken it . The crystal had absorbed so much of his negative energies healing him the blue had faded and in it’s place a lovely thin gold band appeared. That doesn’t happen to everyone but it did give me faith in the journey I was undertaking. And it’s always a lovely story to tell
(I currently have him doing some life coaching & goal setting so will update on this story later but it continues to be positive).
Going on the second course felt like I’d never been away. So much lovely energy in the room and I felt like this was the way I needed to go. I suffer from a frozen shoulder and arthritis in my knees & feet. Working with crystals all day often works more effectively at managing pain than medication. So not only do I get to help others but it aides me at the same time. Not many other jobs can say that!
Someone asked me the other week if I’d heard of Life Manuals and I had to look it up. In the article I read it talked about having a notebook (or computer programme for the techies amongst you) full of ‘how to’s’ in case you forget how to do something. I suppose seeing as I’m very close to mid-40’s these things might happen but I’m not sure I want to waste my pretty notebook collection writing down details of how to pay my bills. When the day comes I don’t remember how to do that I hope the family will be on hand to do it for me 🙂
What I do have is a LIFE Book. Life is too short (to me) to be just going to work, coming home, and paying the bills. I like To Do lists, goal setting and fun challenges. Some will take forever like visiting a city in each country of Western Europe and others are quick & silly like trying 10 new different types of tea (I like tea!). It’s full of places to see, museums to try, books I’ve seen in passing I’d like to read, films I’d like to see.
Because I prefer paper to laptop lists it’s got a paper copy of my goals from the day zero project (101 things to do in 1001 days), it’s got the beginnings of my second list of 101 things to try, my budgeting goals and so much more. Fun stuff. Stuff that life is all about. Stuff that gets you out of the house and seeing the world or having some fun. Things to aim for and dream about during another rainy day stuck in the office or when my depression flares up and I need something positive to focus on.
And it works. I do try these things however slowly. And I love to be able to tick off another goal achieved. Doesn’t matter whether it’s a notebook, your tablet or like my son and you use a whiteboard- make some goals, try something new 🙂
There’s a Life Coaching challenge I’ve been attempting where you create a folder; either on your phone, social media, computer… wherever. And then, of all the photos you may have taken that day you can only put in it only one photo. Something positive to represent your day. The idea is that you can find something positive no matter what and also to try and limit the amount of meaningless photo’s we take.
My son last tried to upload to his Facebook page 10,000 photographs in 2016. He’s a photographer so the huge number isn’t so bad. He fell short by 1500 photo’s. I had a lot of respect for him attempting it last year even more so now as I’m struggling so much to take just 30!
It’s not that I can’t find something positive every day but some days while you may have moved mountains clearing your paperwork or studying or cleaning the house or whatever it isn’t really photo-worthy. I’ve ended up with a stockpile of pictures of food, coffee, trees and flowers for those days where I just had a really nice day doing jobs on my to do list. I’ve already posted a photo of my To Do list with the jobs crossed out so I’m sure my friends don’t want to see it again.
Has anyone ever tried this and found loads to photograph? I’m thinking that under my old job where I worked in the community I may have found lots more pictures to take being constantly outside or travelling. Due to a travel ban in my new job my days are spent tied to a desk. I’m sure no one wants endless photos of that either.
So with 15 days to go I may be back to creating a diary full of food and flowers
Has anyone tried it to do this? How did you find it? Let me know
Book Club (Louise Hay – You can heal your life)
As well as specialising in things holistic and complimentary we at New Beginnings at one time hosted the book club on the now sadly closed South Leeds Community radio station. We’ve decided to bring back the book club but from the more accessible Costa coffee on Briggate, Leeds
As we are all about positivity and healing the new book club will be for those who wish to read spiritual books (not necessary religion though), self help books, other general positive works and no doubt throwing in our favourite decluttering books to chat about. The choices are endlessTo start with we will be discussing Louise Hay – You can heal your life
Good reads blurb: Louise’s key message in this powerful work is: “If we are willing to do the mental work, almost anything can be healed.” Louise explains how limiting beliefs and ideas are often the cause of illness, and how you can change your thinking…and improve the quality of your life.Don’t worry if you don’t get chance to read it, please still come along and join the discussion. We also invite you to bring a choice for the next club and be a part of the forward planning discussion. Appreciating not everyone works Mon-Fri & 9-5 we thought this could be an evolving event where we can choose dates between us dependent on the best work patterns and also change venues whenever we feel like it. Maybe in August we could meet in the park & bring picnics?? We want the events to be as inclusive as possible. Everyone has something to share and bring to the chat.
If you are coming along please drop us a line on the facebook event
Here at New Beginnings we believe everyone should have the chance to be who they truly want to be and provide the ways and means to help anyone start their journey to being their true self. We believe in it because we’ve been through this ourselves and are now in a position to share our knowledge. Our joy comes from helping you get to where you really want to be.
Our workshops combine tried and tested methods including Life Coach support, CBT, Mindfulness and decluttering as well as utilising Cosmic Ordering/The Law of Attraction. We are also big believers in releasing your inner child so the option of creating something to take home is available in each workshop from vision boards to memory boxes for your greatest treasures.
Have you ever felt that within your day to day life this is not who you truly are? Do you feel wasted in your day job or your life is not as fulfilling as you would like it to be. We understand and can provide you with the tools that can help you on your way through our selection of workshops.
We can also provide you with the necessary spiritual & holistic healing through crystal therapy and angelic healing that can remove many of the blocks that are standing in your way leaving you feeling refreshed, whole and ready to tackle the challenges ahead. People usually feel very relaxed and peaceful, and find that it can help to alleviate symptoms of stress, pain and worry.
We are passionate about helping people move forward in their lives and learning positivity through a variety of different ways. We offer:
- Life Coaching
- Employment Coaching
- Decluttering support
- Angelic Reiki
- Various crystal healing treatments
- Law of Attraction Workshops
Contact us through Facebook:
We love doing this. Sometimes we can get so lost in bad things that happen we lose sight of the good stuff. We love opening the jar at the end of the year and looking at fun days out, achievements and the little things. We try and put at least one thing in the jar every day even if just something small to be grateful for.
Today was my (Kirsty) first day back at work and I managed to get through all 115 emails. That’s my note for today -nothing huge but a positive doesn’t have to be.
Our picture may say January but gratitude jars can be started whenever you need them.
I’ve seen some beautifully decorated jars on the web. Have a go and feel free to post yours in the comments box xxx
If my timeline is anything to go by nearly all my friends are opting for New Year New Me and I can see lots of likes for diet and sports pages. But how many of us are just after a short boost in the new year because we feel we oought to and who really want to make a difference to their lives?
I’ve just read Louise Hay’s book How to Heal Your Life and there’s an excellent exercise in there for anyone who really does want to make some positive changes:
First: Go look in a mirror and say to yourself, “I am willing to change.”
Notice how you feel. If you are hesitant or resistant or just don’t want to change, ask yourself why. What old beliefs are you holding onto? Please don’t scold yourself, just notice what it is. That belief has probably been causing you a lot of trouble. I wonder where it came from. Do you know?
To dissolve it, go to the mirror and looking deep into your own eyes, touch your throat and say out loud 10 times, “I am willing to release all resistance.”
I had a go at this myself yesterday using a small mirror I keep on the kitchen windowsill. It’s really hard to look yourself in the eye and be honest about making a change. I noticed that my garden needs tidying, the neighbours cat was in my garden again, my windows need washing and I waggle my eyebrows a lot when I think I’m saying something silly. Eventually, however it started making more sense and I did start to believe in what I was saying. There are a few exercises in the book that are helping me tackle a problem so it will be interesting to see what happens over the next few weeks. If you are certain you want to make 2017 a year of positive changes try the mirror exercise above and let me know how it goes xxx
We love trying new things out so when I got an email from my good friend Sally Chaffer who is a Reiki instructor regarding a talk she was giving at the Heart centre in Headingley we just had to go.
Heart Centre is a lovely building tucked away from the high street. I’ve been there before for craft fairs. During our event they also had a Husting on as part of the recent national elections. Up until that day I never knew what a Hustings was! Turns out to be an archaic name for a Q&A.
Sally started her event with a talk about energy vampires and the people who seem to just sap all your energy when you talk to them, We all have that one person who makes us want to run in the opposite direction whenever we see them coming. She gave us some hints and tips on how to deal with this including a short visualisation and relaxation technique that you can do straight away no matter where you are. Stood in the queue at Tesco’s and feeling stressed. It can be done there too.
After a short break (where I got caught by a work colleague who proceeded to be an energy vampire and therefore completing failing to understand the whole point of the evening) we had a group healing. I’ve had one to one Reiki before which I love but this was my first time in a group. For me it was a chance to relax, let the stresses of the day fade away and just gain a little bit of peace and quiet.
Some new people were amazed at the difference in feelings and one girl mentioned feeling lightness in her stomach. I love relaxation techniques of all kinds and can’t wait to try the next one
~ Kirsty ~